7G01 - I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
7G02 - I will not waste chalk
7G03 - I will not skateboard in the halls
7G04 - I will not burp in class
7G06 - I will not instigate revolution
7G07 - I did not see Elvis
7G09 - I will not draw naked ladies in class
7G10 - I will not call the teacher "Hot Cakes"
7G12 - They are laughing at me, not with me
7G13 - Garlic gum is not funny
7F01 - I will not Xerox my butt
7F01 - It's potato, not potatoe
7F02 - Tar is not a plaything
7F03 - I will not encourage others to fly
7F03 - I will not fake my way through life
7F05 - I will not trade pants with others
7F06 - I will not drive the principal's car
7F07 - I will not do that thing with my tongue
7F08 - I am not a 32 year old woman
7F09 - I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
7F10 - I will not sell school property
7F11 - I will not cut corners
7F12 - I will not get very far with this attitude
7F13 - I will not make flatuent noises in class
7F14 - I will not sell school property
7F15 - I will not belch the National Anthem
7F16 - I will not sell land in Florida
7F17 - I will not grease the monkey bars
7F18 - I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
7F20 - I will not do anything bad ever again
7F21 - I will not show off
7F22 - I will not sleep through my education
7F23 - Nobody likes sunburn slappers
7F24 - I am not a dentist
8F01 - Spitwads are not free speech
8F03 - High explosives and school don't mix
8F03 - I will not bribe Principal Skinner
8F04 - I will not squeak chalk
8F05 - I will finish what I start
8F06 - "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
8F08 - Underwear should be worn on the inside
8F09 - The Christmas Pageant does not stink
8F10 - I will not torment the emotionally frail
8F11 - I will not carve gods
8F13 - I will not aim for the head
8F14 - I will not spank others
8F15 - I will not barf unless I'm sick
8F15 - I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
8F17 - I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
8F18 - I am not Dr. Death
8F19 - I will not conduct my own fire drills
8F20 - Funny noises are not funny
8F21 - I will not spin the turtle
8F22 - I will not snap bras
8F23 - I will not fake seizures
8F24 - This punishment is not boring and pointless
9F01 - I will not defame New Orleans
9F02 - I will not prescribe medication
9F03 - I will not bury the new kid
9F05 - I will not teach others to fly
9F06 - I will not bring sheep to class
9F07 - A burp is not an answer
9F08 - Teacher is not a leper
9F09 - Coffee is not for kids
9F10 - I will not eat things for money
9F11 - I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
9F12 - The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
9F13 - I will not call the principal "spud head"
9F14 - Goldfish don't bounce
9F15 - Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
9F16 - I will not sell miracle cures
9F17 - No one is interested in my underpants
9F18 - I will return the seeing-eye dog
9F19 - I will not charge admission to the bathroom
9F20 - I do not have diplomatic immunity
9F21 - I will not win an Emmy
9F22 - The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
1F07 - All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
1F08 - I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
1F09 - I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
1F10 - I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
1F11 - My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
1F14 - I am not deliciously saucy
1F15 - Organ transplants are best left to professionals
1F16 - The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
1F17 - No one is interested in my underpants
1F18 - I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
1F19 - There are plenty of businesses like show business
1F20 - Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
1F21 - I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
1F22 - Beans are neither fruit nor music
2F01 - I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
2F04 - I will not send lard through the mail
2F05 - I will not dissect things unless instructed
2F06 - I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
2F07 - My homework was not stolen by a one armed man
2F08 - Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
2F09 - Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
2F10 - "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
2F11 - Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
1F12 - Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
2F13 - I will not hang donuts on my person
2F14 - I will remember to take my medication
2F15 - I will not strut around like I own the place
2F16 - This is not a clue. . .or is it?
2F17 - "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
2F18 - The Good Humour man can only be pushed so far
2F19 -I do not have the power of attorney over first graders
2F20 - I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
2F21 - I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
2F22 - The First Amendment does not cover burping
2F32 - Nerve gas is not a toy
2F33 - I will not use abbrev.
3F01 - No one wants to hear from my armpits
3F02 - I am not a lean mean spitting machine
3F03 - The boy's room is not a water park
3F05 - Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
3F07 - I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
3F08 - Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
3F10 - I am not certified to remove asbestos
3F31 - I will only do this once a year
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